My Grandfathers Gift

I was thinking about the ‘fruit-shaped’ scented erasers he gave me when i was a small kid. I treasure it because its so meaningful to me, solely because he gave it to me.Maybe it because its tied to my positively idealized memories from childhood. He’d never know that because he probably didn’t mean to give it to me as a gift, rather as just erasers a company sent it to him because he’s a pediatrician.

My Grandpa has not bought me gifts and spoilt me like ‘other grandparents’ have, with clothes and whatever ‘luxurious’ items. I feel sad because he’s done so much for me. Taking me out to stores whenever I’ve needed to buy anything, the hospital when I tell him I don’t feel too good and buying snacks for me binge on when i ask him to. He’s not the type the spend money on things like clothes, perfumes or anything deemed a “non-essential” item.

He was brought up that way. Taught to think, treating your self and indulging yourself to things like clothes, expensive food and luxurious items is an “extravagance” that isn’t needed.

I understand and acknowledge that I’ll never have those doting grandparents you see on TV. It is what it is. He helps and spoils me in little ways he knows how to. When i was little I was so close to him. I legit loved him so much that I used to hang out with him all the time like literally. ALL THE TIME.

I don’t know what has changed in the course of “growing up” or how I changed because I’m no longer close to him like i used to be. I am unable to rekindle the connection we used to share. I have changed so much. I don’t talk as much as i used to and I’m usually up in my room like every average teen who just wants to escape the entire world. I acknowledge I’ve changed. Everyone does. It makes me sad and wonder, if the change was even good to begin with.

Goodbye for now,

Mehtab

Originally published at https://mehtabsmess.wixsite.com.